We are moving.
I watch the stationary cursor blink on my screen as I trace the letters on the keyboard and my lips mouth the line.
We are moving.
I sat across the table from one of my dearest friends this afternoon and spoke those three ordinary yet life-altering words. Even as they rolled off of my tongue and slapped her across the face, they felt surreal. The whole conversation felt surreal. Every conversation has felt surreal. Turning in my letter of resignation for a job that I so deeply love, telling my coworkers and our small group, men and women who have become more like family than merely friends… all of it has felt surreal until I find myself alone.
Alone. Listening to Christmas music in my office, thinking of how this will be the last Christmas we have in our first home.
Alone. Driving Samuel to school in the mornings, thinking of how blessed we are to have caregivers who love him and cherish him while we are at work.
Alone. Surveying the landscape of my home, trying to soak up every detail – from the pile of dirty laundry, to those boots I keep forgetting to pick up in the living room, to Sam’s toys scattered on a baby blanket that Moe mistakenly thinks was laid out for her to sleep on; evidence of the glorious life that happens within these 4 brick walls.
Sadness, excitement, anxiety, and gratitude overwhelm me. It is incredibly bittersweet to say goodbye to this season of our lives. This beautiful season in which we have come into our own as individuals, met, dated, married, entered home ownership and parenthood, completed educations, changed careers, planted roots deep into making this city our home. It is an awesome thing to sit back and consider the faithfulness of God as He has preserved, sustained, blessed and lead us to this point in our lives when we choose to say “Yes” and “Amen” to Him, believing the best truly is yet to come.
The best is yet to come?
My soul musters the question, “Lord how are you going to top this?” Not in a lack of faith, because there is no doubt in my mind that Jesus can do much more than I can ask or imagine, but the reality of His goodness towards our undeserving selves brings me to my knees.
So how do we reflect on all that this city has meant to us while remaining present? How do we finish well while looking ahead with great anticipation of all that God has in store for us? If I am honest, I have no idea. I do know that there is a call from the Father to come, questions and all, and find rest in the midst of the craziness.
For those of you who have loved us so unbelievably well here, investing into our lives, marriage and family, we are forever indebted to you. Words are inadequate to describe how thankful we are for you.
And so it begins… clearly nothing is off the table.